Co-Regulation Resources
Photo from Kristin Weins
Our little ones look up to us in so many ways, including understanding and managing their emotions. Co-regulation is the idea of maintaining a calm, supportive response when our kids are experiencing emotions both big and small. By using a calm tone of voice, providing wait time, and engaging in calm down strategies, our kids are absorbing how to better handle those emotions independently.
Co-regulation is difficult even for those with loads and loads of training- our kids have a special way of loving us and challenging us in a moments turn! Co-regulation is a skill that takes practice, practice, and more practice! Here are some of our favorite resources to help you and your little ones understand, express, and manage emotions!
Breathing
Taking deep breaths is a go-to strategy to help our littles manage their emotions! Our kids are not in a rational state of mind as their emotions take over and getting oxygen to the brain helps them get unstuck. Taking 3 deep breaths helps lower heart rate, improve focus, and, overall, feel more relaxed to then hear directions or choices you’re offering! Deep breathing is also great because it can be done at any time in any location - in the car, at the park, in the grocery store, on a plane…you get the idea! And doesn’t require any materials. However, to be most effective, kids should practice deep breathing when they are in a calm, regulated state! Here are some of fun ways to practice:
Breathing Ball - open & close the breathing ball as you take deep breaths! Talk about how our lungs in our body fill up with air - breath in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, & breath out for 5 seconds!
Bubbles - Bubbles are fun to practice a steady flow of air. See who can blow the biggest bubble!
Mindfulness Cards - Here are some cards to practice being in the moment. Take turns picking cards & share how you feel before and how you feel after!
Books
There are so many great books about emotions and emotion regulation! Take time to talk about how the characters are feeling by looking at their facial expressions and body language. Here are just a couple of our favorites:
*You child’s teacher is also a great resource for books they may be using in the classroom!
Taking a Break
Think about your day - how often do you take little breaks to look at your phone, text a friend, chat with a co-worker, go get a cup of coffee? Our kids can also benefit from short breaks when their emotions start to take over! Breaks also help shift our child’s attention to something else then what is making them experience big emotions or outbursts. It’s our job to help structure the break by offering choices & making sure they return to the expectation that is set! Here are some ways to help set up a break before engaging in conversation:
Bubble Timer - Bubble Timers can help show the passing of time while your child takes a short break watching the colorful bubbles.
Wonder Wand - Wonder Wands are another choice similar to bubble timers - switching up choices will help maintain the novelty.
Coloring Book - Taking a short coloring break is another go-to option for kids. You can find coloring books that have a child’s interest or favorite character. This option is best for kids who are starting to experience big emotions but not out of control. Best not to offer a dysregulated child a handful of markers or crayons unless you’re up for a major parenting challenge :)
Fidgets - Fidgets are wonderful to help shift focus to then be able to talk about how your child is feeling.
Slumber Kins - Slumber Kins promotes social-emotional learning by pairing a creature with a life skill. You can browse by creature or theme. Each creature comes with a book to help your child learn about their emotional growth.
Weighted Blanket for a Cozy Corner - This option is my child’s go-to when she is feeling upset, frustrated, or sad. She finds a spot - either on a couch, in her bed, or on a floor pillow with a blanket to take a short break before she’s ready to talk about what she needs or why she’s feeling upset. Find a designated spot where your child can take a break - involve your child in this process to give them a sense of being in control of their wants/needs. Weighted blankets are great to have in a cozy corner to promote feelings of security & providing that much need calming effect. These weighted blankets from Kyte Baby are little more on the pricey side but are a wonderful investment! I also use their sleepsacks for my younger child & have a blanket for my own bed!
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